5 Courses with Dan Mathieu of Max Ultimate Food

^{Photo: MATT TEUTEN}

Dan Mathieu and his partner Neal Balkowitsch ought to know a thing or two about how to behave at a party. In 10 years of co-owning and operating Max Ultimate Food, Mathieu figures they've served Bostonians more than a half-million high-end meals, catering an average of more than 400 events each year. "Could you write ‘500,000 burgers served,' and cross out the burger part?" he suggests helpfully. It's holiday party season, and whether you're the guest or the host, you want to make it a memorable night. Mathieu has some maxims that might help.

Do you like giving parties? Not professionally, but personally? Every year, my partner and I give a good-sized Christmas party. Every year, I say, "I don't want to do it." And every year, on the morning after the party, I think it was the greatest party ever. You have to push yourself to give a party, because a party keeps communities together. Everyone looks forward to our holiday parties because for many of them it's the one time in the year they see each other. Holiday parties are about tradition. People aren't giving as many holiday parties as they used to - even the number of simple parties at home [has declined]. It's a shame because people so look forward to coming to a party.

What makes a party special? What makes it work? The real secret is for the host to plan ahead, to do everything ahead that you can, throw in a couple of surprises, and then relax and enjoy the party. The host or hostess sets the tone. And if they are working all the time, it's no fun for the guests.

Do you have any "party rules," any suggestions for how to be a good guest? Yes, I do! First, when you are leaving a good-sized party, never say goodbye. It's a party killer. And it means that by the time the host has said hello to everyone, they have to begin to say goodbye, so the whole party becomes a series of hellos and goodbyes. Just get your coat and quietly walk out. Send an e-mail thanking the host the next day.

What should you bring to a party? Never bring cut flowers to a party. The host has spent a lot of time making the room look nice, and your flowers are a distraction. They have to run around, find a vase, make room for it on the table. If you like flowers, send a bouquet the next day that matches the décor with a nice note.

Great stuff! Anything else? I'm just getting started! 1) RSVP. It is the most important thing a guest can do. . . . And do it on time. A host should never have to chase down a guest to see if they are coming. 2) Show up on time. Being a half-hour to an hour late is not cool. If the invite says six, get there as close to six as you can. 3) Most parties have a three- to four-hour life span. Staying longer than four hours is not cool.

Louisa Kasdon can be reached at louisa@louisakasdon.com.