My name is Tamara, and I'm a cookbook-aholic. No matter that I don't make 99.9 percent of the recipes in the enormous collection I've amassed. I read them, I drool over the photos, I plan elaborate menus for imaginary dinner parties. I'm a newlywed, after all -- I have all the expensive cookwear and fancy kitchen gadgets an aspiring chef could possibly want. One of these days I'm going to use them, and when I do, I'm going to need those books.
Until then, though, there's this: The Devil's Food Dictionary: A Pioneering Culinary Reference Work Consisting Entirely of Lies, by Barry Foy. How can you not love a work that's billed by its publicists as "the most unreliable food book ever"?
Some of my favorite entries:
Celebrity chef: An accomplished chef who, because his food's prices have reached their conceivable upper limit, is forced to host TV series, appear on culinary cruises, and open proxy establishments in Las Vegas in order to avoid income stagnation. Celebrity chefs are believed to have more frequent sex than regular chefs.
Sourdough: A type of bread this is unconventionally appealing in every respect but its odd, unaccountably sour taste. Sourdough bread is a longtime favorite on America's West Coast, particularly in the San Francisco area. It must be a gay thing.
Pear: Perhaps the only fruit famous for being shaped like itself.
Locavore: A buzzword that found its way into American English just in time to beat the publisher's deadline for inclusion in this dictionary. Unfortunately, the word's definition ran a little late, and didn't make it.
Buy it on Amazon.com or, better yet, pick it up at your favorite independent book store.
