Contrary to what the Aqua song led us to believe, life in plastic isn't always so fantastic -- a fact Lotte Jones, the central character of Trojan Barbie (pictured above), knows all too well. A doll-repair expert who is in serious need of a vacation, she embarks on a Turkish getaway, only to end up traveling much further than she intended ... all the way back to the time of the Trojan War. Stuck in a detention camp with a cast of characters that includes Clytemnestra, Cassandra, and Helen of Troy, Lotte learns firsthand how war devastates human lives, no matter what millennium you happen to find yourself in. With humor and historical drama, contemporary commentary and clever allusions to Euripides' Trojan Women, this play -- which is getting its world premiere from the folks at the American Repertory Theatre - has definitely got something for everyone. (Ken doll not included.) | Zero Arrow Theatre, 2 Arrow Street, Cambridge, 617.547.8300 | March 28 through April 22 | Tickets: $39-$52, available at www.amrep.org
Batman, the Incredible Hulk, Superman, Wolverine, Iron Man ... why is it that the superdudes always get top billing? We think it's high time that the spandex-clad ladies fight back, so we were happy to hear that they'll be taking over the stage in The Superheroine Monologues: A Parody of Super Porportions. Company One and Phoenix Theatre Artists are teaming up for this campy romp, which starts in the 1940s and follows Wonder Woman, Storm, Batgirl, Dark Phoenix, Supergirl, Catwoman, and Lois Lane through the decades. We bet it'll be super. | Boston Playwright's Theatre, 949 Commonwealth Avenue, Boston, 617.353.5443 | April 10 through April 26 | Tickets: $20-$25, available at www.bu.edu/bpt
If a show as stripped down as a one-man play is going to succeed, it has to have a amazing story at its heart. And the story that propels I Am My Own Wife is not only amazing, but true. The Boston Center for American Performance stages this Pulitzer winner, which is based on the life of Charlotte von Mahlsdorf, born Lothar Berfelde, an East German transvestite who survived (and perhaps even abetted) first the Nazi and then the Communist regimes. With David Gram starring as Charlotte and 40 other roles, this promises to be a tour de force that is not to be missed. | TheatreLab@855, 855 Commonwealth Avenue, Boston, 617.933.8600 | April 22 through May 10 | Tickets: $10-$20, available at www.bostontheatrescene.com
Lots of little girls (and even some grown-up ones we know) dream of one day getting swept off their feet by prince charming, whether it be after biting a poisonous apple or losing a glass slipper. For those of us who dig the whole waking-from-a-100-year-coma bit, the Boston Ballet's Sleeping Beauty is the show to catch this spring. Thanks to Tchaikovsky's brilliant score, Marius Petipa's stellar choreography, and swoon-worthy performances from some of the area's top local dance talents, this will most definitely be a step up from Disney's take on the fairy tale. Classic. | Wang Theater, 270 Tremont Street, Boston, 617.482.9393 | April 23 through May 3 | Tickets: $25-$115, available at 866.348.9738 or www.citicenter.org
Take note boys: there's nothing like hitting those low notes for bedding a TON of lovely ladies. How many to be exact? 2,065. Yowzah! Lust is in the air this spring as the Boston Lyric Opera takes on Don Giovanni (i.e., Don Juan, Italian style -- you know it's going to be hot). If you're new to classical opera, we can't think of a better introduction: with masqued intrigues, unrepentant libertines, serial seductions, cold-blooded murder, and a climax featuring the fires of hell, Don Giovanni has it all - not to mention one of Mozart's most astonishing scores. | Shubert Theatre, 265 Tremont Street, Boston, 617.292.5183 | April 24 through May 5 | Tickets: $33-$194, available at www.citicenter.org
Before Gossip Girl and Twilight hit the masses, sex-crazed teens hit the Broadway stage. One of the standouts of spring's theater line-up is, appropriately enough, Spring Awakening, the controversial coming-of-age musical and eight-time Tony winner that's generated a huge fan base since its 2006 premiere. The mega-hit, set in late 19th-century Germany, tells the story of repressed but hormonal teens who discover sex - and the angst that can accompany it -- all while accompanied by a rock score composed by Duncan Sheik. (Remember "Barely Breathing"? It's so nice to see a '90s one-hit wonder garner attention for something besides turning up on a trashy reality TV show.) Any show that contains content that "may not be suitable for those under age 15" is a good bet in our book for great entertainment. | Colonial Theatre, 106 Boylston Street, Boston, 617.426.9366 | April 28 through May 24 | Tickets: $22.50-$89.50, available at www.ticketmaster.com
Finally, SpeakEasy Stage Company has given us the chance to watch Springer at a time that doesn't require calling in sick to work. The winner of the 2004 Olivier Award for Best Musical (really, we swear), Jerry Springer: The Opera captures the essence of the quality programming of the original show, along with plenty of twists and turns -- including Mr. Springer's trip to hell after he's accidentally shot by a guest on the show. Try to hold off from chanting "Jerry! Jerry!" until the curtain call. | Nancy and Edward Roberts Studio Theatre at the Boston Center for the Arts, 527 Tremont Street, Boston, 617.426.5000 | May 1 through May 30 | Tickets: $46-$55, available at 617.933.8600 or bostontheatrescene.com
Musicals based on movies seem to be a dime a dozen these days, and many would make serious theater buffs want to stage their own exits during intermission (seriously people: Shrek didn't merit two sequels, let alone a theatrical interpretation). But Grey Gardens is one musical with big-screen beginnings that has managed to earn several Tonys, despite its tabloid-worthy subject matter -- the story follows Jackie O's eccentric aunt and cousin, Big Edie and Little Edie, as they slide from Hamptons high society into squalor and seclusion. Though the documentary that inspired it was made over 30 years ago, the story remains a hot topic, with a star-studded HBO movie adaptation premiering this month. But we bet the Lyric Stage Company's cast for this New England premiere will give Drew Barrymore and Jessica Lange a run for their money. | Lyric Stage, 140 Clarendon Street, Boston, 617.585.5678 | May 8 through June 6 | Tickets: $25-$54, available at www.lyricstage.com
Ahoy me matey. If ye don't have the booty to get to the Caribbean on yer own, maybe you should consider letting a musical take you there. Complete with piratical humor, swordfights, and sex, the Huntington Theatre Company's Pirates! (Or, Gilbert and Sullivan Plunder'd) gives The Pirates of Penzance an update for the new millennium - this is definitely not the musical your grandmother remembers. Plus, peg legs and eye patches are hot. Arrrg. | BU Theater, 264 Huntington Avenue, Boston, 617.266.0800 | May 15 through June 14 | Tickets: $25-$50, available at www.huntingtontheatre.org
Forget the Jets and the Sharks. If you want to see a real onstage brawl, don't miss the conclusion of the second annual Speaker Series: The Minds That Move the World, which will bring James Carville (of CNN's Crossfire fame) and Karl Rove (of, well, evil GOP mastermind fame) to Boston for a political rumble of the ages. PBS's Charlie Rose will referee and attempt to keep the bloodshed to a minimum as the two talk "strategies, alliances, and policy." Did we mention that at the series opener, a fistfight broke out among audience members? We're sure there'll be a big finish here, too - after all, when pundits and politicos are freed from that seven-second delay, anything can happen. Consider it a must-see cross between a poli sci class and a WWE smackdown. | Wang Theatre, 270 Tremont Street, Boston, 617.482.9393 | May 27 | Tickets: $38-$178, available at www.citicenter.org
Compiled by Julia Gall and Alexandria Lima
