Put down the Negroni and have a little fun with a kitschy cocktail.
We sure can take ourselves seriously in this town, can’t we? Our fashion, our food, our art, our sports— sometimes Bostonians seem so insecure in the shadow of urban behemoths like New York that we get caught up in our mission to prove ourselves worthy of accolade, worthy even of quiet dignity. Have we forgotten how to have a little frivolous fun?
Friends, it’s time to snap out of it.
The latest wave of swooning regard for classic cocktails is, I admit, of great interest to me. Bartenders are exhibiting a reverent wizardry, cramming their cocktail lists with “vintage” beauties from the late 19th to early 20th centuries — the Jack Rose, the Negroni, the Sidecar, and the Flip, and they’re making every night at the bar feel like a page from The Great Gatsby. I adore the history and mythology behind what I’m drinking, and I cherish the happy accidents that resulted in some of my favorite old-school drinks. Still, even I can see that this dedication to purity and craft, to recreating the 1920s and ’30s in a glass, is a bit nerdy. Dweeby, actually, if you want to be truly accurate when describing an infatuation with details that most socially adept people don’t think twice about in their quest to get trashed and, subsequently, laid, on a weekend night.
I do embrace my inner nerd, but every once in a while, especially come summertime, I like to shake it off in favor of some frippery. (Do non-nerds use words like “frippery”?) Thankfully, there are plenty of cocktails with a tongue-in-cheek sense of humor that make it easy to have a giggle while you’re having a sip. There’s nothing like a paper umbrella or a silly name to lighten the mood while you suck one down, history thrown to the wind in favor of a kitschy good time. There’s nothing “classic” about these drinks — they’re just happy, drunken fun.
What’s more fun than a cocktail inspired by ’80s pop culture? Tip your glass to the woolen monstrosities donned by Bill Cosby on his groundbreaking television series, The Cosby Show, with a Dr. Huxtable’s Ugly Sweater ($12) at Great Bay (500 Comm Ave, Boston, 617.532.5300). Stoli Razberi, Aperol (an orange liqueur), Haiku sake, fresh sour mix, and a burnt-orange twist pay tasty homage to the glory of Heathcliff Huxtable’s wardrobe.
Music was more your thing? Knock back a Purple Rain ($6) at Anise (One Kendall Square, Cambridge, 617.577.8668), a hidden gem that serves up authentic Sichuan cuisine and surprisingly tongue-in-Western-cheek drinks. This fruity beverage, a mix of Mathilde Liqueur, rum, and pineapple juice, is a true party-starter;
it tastes like candy and goes down faster than a not-so-ladylike lady who’s hard up for cash. (Hey, I said I was nerdy, not classy.)
If a name like the Electric Banana ($11) isn’t enough to get your inner ape maniacally pounding its chest, you’re hopeless. Might as well resign yourself to a long life of uncomfortable reclining, due to the permanent stick up your bum. The latest libations at Vox Populi (755 Boylston Street, Boston, 617.424.8300) practically demand that you let your hair down, with the aforementioned creation coming with the proviso “Batteries Not Included.” The Electric Banana is a kooky concoction of Bacardi Light Rum, Crème de Cacao, banana liqueur, and Disaronno amaretto, topped with a splash of cream and, it would seem, a splash of fun. A few of these suckers and you’ll be monkeying around the bar.
It wouldn’t be a column about kitsch and humor without mention of Moxie, the carbonated pride of New England, first marketed in Lowell and bottled in Jamaica Plain until the late 1950s. Orange Tshirts sporting Moxie logos seem to be standard issue for people who wear irony on their chests like a badge of hipster honor. Moxie as a mixer is a rare find, but leave it to those loveable goofs at Deep Ellum (477 Cambridge Street, Allston, 617.787.2337) to throw it on their drink menu, unapologetically. The Black Water ($6) is a sweetly strong jitterbug of Moxie and rye, brightened up with lemon — a cheeky twist on a Jack and Coke that will draw you in with its oddball ingredients and keep you ordering more for its surprising smoothness.
Finally, as Lindsay Lohan may attest, nothing gets your funometer revved like an eightball. But hey, not everyone
finds meth to be a rollickin’ good time. That’s where the Vanilla Eightball ($10) at Audubon Circle (838 Beacon Street, Boston, 617.421.1910) takes over. The combination of Stoli Vanil, lemon, and pineapple juice makes for a legal,less-addictive substitute that won’t leave your teeth itchy or your criminal record pockmarked. Win-win! And you don’t have to suck it up with a rolled-up $20 bill or buy it in an alley from some toothless cyberpunk named Ned.
Whether your good times roll from 1980s TV, wacky cola, or the thrill of drinking something that’s named for McGruff’s worst nightmare, it’s important to remember that drinking should never be a somber (dare I say sober?) occasion. Lighten up, dude, even if it’s just for one fleeting weekend. After all, classic cocktails have been around for a century; they’re not going anywhere. Can you say the same about the Electric Banana?
