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Deep thoughts

Deep thoughts

Cruising

Cruising

I’m on vacation. As David Lee Roth once said, “I’ve got a drink in my hand, I’ve got my toes in the sand, now all I need is a beautiful girl.” I’m as relaxed as the hair on the head of any female lead in an Eddie Murphy movie. Ok, truth is, my toes aren... Read More »
Sick of marriage

Sick of marriage

My assignment was simple: stand in for Mike Diskin while he takes his first vacation in six years and deliver anecdotes from my Saturday night festivities. In the words of my favorite rapper, I was commissioned to bring tales of demons and drugs, and... Read More »
 Vacationland

Vacationland

Tonight, I’m doing something I haven’t done in nearly six years. The last time I did this, The Lord of the Rings was number one at the box office, Saddam Hussein was alive and in charge, and we were all still wondering if our beloved boys of summer would... Read More »
Staying in for Valentine's

Staying in for Valentine's

I thought for a long while about how I was going to write this. To be honest, I wasn’t even sure I was going to. I wondered if I could write about my Saturday night and not sound like a hater. I worried that I might come off as pathetic or lonely — or... Read More »
Married friends

Married friends

As you regular readers are aware, I was once married. That means, not only do I have a lovely sentimental video of myself dancing to a Whitney Houston song, I also have a group of married friends that I used to spend time with when I was “under contract... Read More »
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Doing Time at the DMV

Doing Time at the DMV

This is a story about responsibility. It’s a tale of a man and his inability to keep his day-to-day shit straight, and the penalty he had to pay because of it. I’m not proud that I’m an unorganized mess — I’m just dumb enough to admit it publicly. Do... Read More »
'Twas The Weekend Before Christmas

'Twas The Weekend Before Christmas

Adventures in going out, staying in, and acting up ’Twas the weekend before Christmas, when all through the town, not much was going on; there was snow on the ground. Friends got together to honor the storm; you know the deal — order food, get wasted... Read More »
Gym nights

Gym nights

Adventures in going out, staying in, and acting up I need to get my ass to the gym. I’ve done nothing this week but work, drink, and eat. Fortunately (or unfortunately) for me, my job enables a slovenly lifestyle. Covering Boston’s nightlife is fun, but... Read More »
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The Yah Dude Problem

The Yah Dude Problem

Okay, let’s play a little game. Let’s try to figure out if my new neighbor reads this column. I realize this seems way more entertaining for me than it does for you, but stick with me— there’s a method to my madness. So I think my new neighbor is an asshole... Read More »
Birthdaying Vicariously

Birthdaying Vicariously

Adventures in going out, staying in, and acting up When it comes to birthdays, I believe most people fall into one of two categories: those who celebrate them, and those who don’t. I’m firmly in the latter category. I’ve never been a big fan of tooting... Read More »
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Nuclear differences

Nuclear differences

I'm the weirdo of my family — that’s for sure. They love me; they just don’t get me. It seems they have a hard time understanding what it is that makes me tick. I like to put Tabasco sauce on my baked potato; I wear sneakers with a suit; and I’m a... Read More »
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Your turn

Your turn

It’s a gorgeous Saturday night and I have absolutely nothing to do. Normally I wouldn’t care, but, as we all know, the town clown has a job to do. The villagers must be entertained. I’m expected to eat something foul, drink way too much, or end up reflecting... Read More »
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