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Saturday, November 21, 2009

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Making scents

by Jeannie Greeley | April 04, 2009

They say that human beings are capable of smelling more than 10,000 scents. Why is it then that one singular odor can leave us scarred and wanting to take a toothbrush to our nostrils? For me, it wasn’t just any scent. It was her perfume — a heavy musk... Read More »

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Used goods

by Jeannie Greeley | March 23, 2009

I believe it was George W. Bush who so eloquently butchered that age-old adage: “Fool me once, shame on you... Fool me... you can’t get fooled again.” Or can you? This is the question consuming my thoughts as I consider embarking on that risky relationship... Read More »

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In The Sack: Letters

by Jeannie Greeley | March 09, 2009

I have no idea what kind of potpourri of perversion made its way into my mailbox this month. But here’s a taste of what was fit for print. As always, letters have been edited for brevity and to make you people look a bit smarter than you are. I really... Read More »

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Are You Being Served?

by Jeannie Greeley | February 20, 2009

I’ve nurtured a long and unhealthy obsession with people who serve me, dating everyone from the guy at the pizza parlor to bartenders to coffee-shop employees. Though I’m not necessarily proud to admit what seems like something of a fetish, I know I’m... Read More »

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Label Whore

by Jeannie Greeley | February 09, 2009

How important are sexual definitions? By the time this column is published, I will be seven months into what many people have affectionately termed a “phase.” What they mean by this unsolicited label is that I’m dating a “straight girl” or, more likely... Read More »

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Status symbols

by Jeannie Greeley | January 08, 2009

By this point, we’ve all blown our New Year’s resolutions and have reverted to the fat, nicotine-addicted, underachieving losers we were in 2008. Old habits die hard, folks. But I’m holding out hope that we can all band together and resolve to sway the... Read More »

Filed under: Sex, SAN Home

Two Legs, Over Sleazy

by Jeannie Greeley | November 29, 2008

The joys of morning sex Is there anything better than a hot gale of gnarly breath in the face to get you in the mood? How about smeared day-old makeup, or the stench of last night’s cigarettes and beer? Crusty eyes, anyone? If these appalling images sound... Read More »

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Money Talks

by Jeannie Greeley | November 14, 2008

Balancing finances in a relationship There is a simple mantra in my relationship lately: “No fighting.” It has nothing to do with the occasional fit of rage or emotional flare-up. It came about to reduce the animated sparring matches that erupt in restaurants... Read More »

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In the sack: Letters from readers, November 4, 2008

by Jeannie Greeley | November 03, 2008

You guys know the deal with this. You ramble; I bite. Please keep the brilliant correspondence coming. Your column [ on bowel movements in a relationship ] was both funny and engaging. You should be aware that this phobia is a pretty uniquely feminine... Read More »

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There Goes The Bride

by Jeannie Greeley | October 20, 2008

A matrimonial experiment Metal clamps are fastened on my back and my limbs are contorted like a praying mantis. I fall backward into the arms of a man who gently lays me on the ground in a sea of white. To the average person, this probably sounds like... Read More »

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On the couch with a jailhouse lover

by Jeannie Greeley | October 03, 2008

She had searched the bars. She had haunted the nightclubs. All the while, a toxic relationship plagued her every move. After years of spiraling downward into debauchery, my longtime friend finally hit rock bottom and wound up in jail. Never did she imagine... Read More »

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#2 with your #1

by Jeannie Greeley | September 22, 2008

Once upon a time I was falling in love with a woman. And then she pooped. Everyone poops, people protest when I mention my relationship pet peeve. This I know. It was how it was done that disturbed me so much: one stray pellet carelessly left floating... Read More »

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Puma power

by Jeannie Greeley | September 08, 2008

Navigating the urban jungle sometimes means having sex with younger people. Is there anything wrong with that? I lurk in the shadows at seedy bars, stalking my prey with their dewy faces and high cheekbones. I wait for them to grow distracted by their... Read More »

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In the sack: August 26, 2008

by Jeannie Greeley | August 25, 2008

It’s been an interesting few months. I’ve received letters from readers ranging from multi-page diatribes to essays titled “Why Men Don’t Have Friends and Why Women Should Care.” While I’d love to share them all with you, I’ve selected some of the finer... Read More »

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