AS EXPECTED, the ladies had a lot to say about a recent column regarding weight issues in relationships (see "Weighty Issues," 6.19.07). People got offended. Boo hoo. And my column got me dumped ... again. Letters have been edited for brevity and clarity. All names of fat girls and wimpy dudes have been changed.
I just wanted to let you know I loved your recent article "Weighty Issues." I've just started dating this guy who is REALLY hot; he has the nicest body. And I'm not going to lie, I'm not at my best right now. So you really inspired me to change my eating habits and to force myself to exercise, because if I want him and his six-pack, he deserves the same. Keep up with your great work. I love coming into work to find a new Stuff@night sitting at the door step.
Hot & Heavy
Dear Hot & Heavy,
If only my partner had reacted as well as you have to the column. Even after reading it to her before publication and making sure to limit the public humiliation, she still dumped my ass. "Did you see that illustration?!" she screamed. "It made me look huge!" Yeah, it also made you look like a Caucasian redhead, I tried explaining to the stubborn Cape Verdean. It's not real. Apparently, her issues are.
I just read your article while eating a breakfast burrito at Herrell's in Allston. I've had a lover for little over a year now who has claimed to love my body. I'm definitely curvy, but have gained a little weight since we met. If anything, he rubs my tummy and grabs on in the bedroom even more now than when we first got together. He has a high metabolism and is naturally muscular. He also thinks that Jessica Biel has a slamming body. He's told me only once that I could afford to lose a few pounds but he never held it over me. Therefore, it IS possible to talk about weight issues and make the relationship stronger. It's hard, but it's worse if you resent your partner quietly.
Hot & Saucy
Dear Hot & Saucy,
You lost me at breakfast burrito.
Great article in Stuff@night magazine regarding "Weighty Issues." I am a European, and looking at all fat, I mean fat - and I am not apologizing for using that category - people grosses me out. Especially the pretentious ones, who think and act as if everybody else has to react, understand, and except [sic] them as equal, even with more rights. Top of everything is when they think they have to be granted more care, more attention, and more benefits, because most fall in the category of disabled. I do not think of taking care of your body as being shallow. How do women spend time and money to have their hair and nails done twice a week, but never place a [bit of thought] in [belonging to] a gym? I am a straight woman and I have a lot of male friends, both straight and homosexual, who share that they do not care too much of [sic] the nail polish color, but clean nails and fit bodies. Isn't there anyone to tell all these women who want to have a decent guy by themselves to stop being arrogant?
Irate Euro
Dear Irate Euro,
I'm confused by this letter. Are you calling these women fat, disabled, and arrogant? That's what I love about you Europeans. Brash, unapologetic, and thin as rails. Of course, you've probably got some fatal flaw like a missing eyetooth or a Russian jaw line that makes you look as if you could eat hub caps. But, go on, girl! You tell 'em.
I just recently moved to Massachusetts from the Bronx. I am so used to the city life and the witty attitude. Being part of the gay community, I would spend most of my time in the Village or in Manhattan. On my trips, I would pick up a copy of free papers to read on the train so I wouldn't just be caught staring at girls. When I didn't find any of that here in Boston, I knew I was in for a hard ride. There were a couple of paper stands, yet the one that truly caught my eye ... was Stuff@night. Somehow, inside I felt as if I was at home. As I started flipping through the pages I just fell totally in love with the magazine. Reading your colon [sic] totally hit the spot. I love your wit and sense of humor. Your articles are blunt yet not hurtful or mean, and they touch on things that people do find themselves thinking about. I have truly been touched by your magazine and feel at home.
The Lost BX Girl
Dear Lost BX Girl,
By "colon," I'm assuming you mean that thing I spew onto the pages of the magazine every other week. I'm glad you're enjoying it. If only everyone could spend more time hanging out with bitter gay men to learn that hurtful insults are just plain fun. Thank you for seeing through to the true, caring, sensitive me. You have touched me.
Jeannie Greeley, shame shame. Please cease and desist lumping me in with those pathetic losers appearing in [the most recent In the Sack feature]. Now I must hesitate in sending a copy to my superficial friends in the "Big Apple" who, by the way, think I'm bowling this town over by leaps and bounds. If you promise to be nice, I'll STOP reading your columns. On second thought, go ahead and do as you please, I probably am a loser.
No Longer a "Large" Fan
Dear No Longer a "Large" Fan,
In the past week I've been referred to as the "lesbian Imus" and received two e-mails beginning with the words "Shame, shame." I know the lesbians can sometimes be a pack of humorless sweat socks, but never in a million years did I think I'd have to explain sarcasm to a New Yorker. So here it is for the fragile, offended masses: I'M FUCKING KIDDING. Jeez. @
Jeannie Greeley really is the sensitive, neurotic, caring soul that people think she is. She can be reached at jeannieg@comcast.net.
