I can’t even express my full reaction to your article “Pet
Peeves.” Your words so closely and so humorously echo sentiments that I have
expressed. I’m writing to you on behalf of all the other maladjusted, loveless
hermits whose lives go unenhanced by the pitter-patter of little feet, chronic
jarring cries at 3 o’clock in the morning, or regular regurgitated-furball and
Alpo “surprises” on the kitchen floor. Good luck to you whenever you start
making the rounds to the “local pound” again. May you eventually find genuine
healing and resolution … not just a
replacement.
Peeved
Dear Peeved,
By this point in the summer, we lesbians have suffered
through the despicable frat party that is Memorial Day weekend in P-town and
survived the subsequent khaki chaos of Pride. If I see another Bud Light or
popped collar, I’m going to plunge into either single motherhood, pet adoption,
or worse, speed dating. Keep hope alive!
I read your article “G-Spot
Jealousy” and found it really interesting. I am curious to hear more about your
experience on this whole range of intensity, frequency, and ease of climaxing
among the women you have been with. There is so much misinformation out there
in terms of how different people can be, and that sometimes leads to
unfulfilled expectations, frustration, and hurt feelings. How much of a
difference in range have you seen for ease of climaxing, frequency/number of
orgasms, and intensity?
Curious
George
Dear Curious George,
I almost paddled a girl in bed once — and not in the kinky
oh-yeah-harder way, but more in the all-signs-of-life-have-expired way. Like
many people, I’ve seen women experience everything from eye-rolling ecstasy to
depths of boredom normally induced by balancing a checkbook. I’m sorry, but if
my tongue is as cramped as a runner on mile 25 and you’re still not reacting,
you need to quit the Zoloft or learn how to speak in the sack. Too many women
will let someone hopelessly thrash around between their thighs, while they lay
there silently enduring it, rather than asking for what they want. Then it
becomes humorous fodder for brunch with the girls. By then, the talk is just
cheap. And guess who still hasn’t had a good orgasm?
Read your article on second chances [“Used Goods”]. My
girlfriend and I are on round three of going out. She ended a very quick round
one — “Something’s missing but I don’t know what it is.” I ended a quick round
two after she said the same. We embarked on round three. I loved her and wanted
to build a life together, but only if she felt the same. She is still mixed up,
doesn’t know what she wants, loves me but doesn’t love me that way, is terribly
upset, doesn’t know why she can’t let me get close to her, wants to love me and
can’t let me go, feels something is missing but can’t define what, and is just
generally a mess. I guess the message is, we had to explore this all the way. Know
any cute girls? Straight ones (no offense). Sane ones.
Not-So-Merry-Go-Round
Dear Not-So-Merry,
I’m cringing at your recitation of your girlfriend’s
psychotic ravings — partly because I’ve both heard and spoken similar
sentiments. Truth is, the poor thing probably just needed a best friend who
porked her when it was convenient. Sadly, what’s probably “missing” for this
girl is her next boyfriend, which is why she’s jerking you like a yo-yo. On the
upside, it’s likely that you’re good in bed because nobody gets caught in the
revolving door of a relationship for a mediocre lay. And sorry, but if I knew
any cute, straight, sane girls, I wouldn’t be sharing.
Jeannie Greeley is a freelance writer who checks her mail at jeannieg@comcast.net. Letters are subject to editing for considerations of space and clarity.
