There is one act in a sexual relationship that
single-handedly reveals the potential kink level of a partner: biting.
Bar none, a partner’s receptivity to biting has always been
commensurate with his or her receptivity to further sexual exploration. My
purely unscientific research has proven that lovers who respond to a first,
fretful nibble with an “ouch” or an “ow!” tend to plateau as mediocre sexual
partners. On the other hand, those who react with a heated sigh or intrigued
gasp have proven that biting is simply a welcome foray into kinkier behaviors.
Biting, no doubt, is a mild kink when compared to more intense
things like bondage, or catheterization. Without really acknowledging it as a
voyeuristic kink, we as a society have grown obsessed with Anne Rice novels, Buffy
the Vampire Slayer, and, more recently, True Blood.
Hell, this very publication ran an RCN ad depicting a topless couple in which
the woman is clawing and biting through the man’s flesh. The copy read:
“Eternal life, eternal entertainment, always RCN.” “Temporary erection” was
implicit.
This is subtle (or not-so-subtle) vampirism, folks. Surely the WB
network would have been hard-pressed to air Buffy the Paddle Wielder.
That would have been a gross nod to leather freaks and homos and other people
who enjoy themselves in the bedroom. But biting? Biting is a behavior that,
while a touch taboo, is harmless enough for prime time. We’re so comfortable
with the act of biting that we use the phrase “sink our teeth into it” to
express our lust for everything from food to books. Why not people?
For the trepidatious lover, biting is a tempered way to play with
pain, and also a controllable one. We might not know how to safely wield a whip
or how to heat wax to a lower-than-skin-scalding temperature. But we know
what’s required of our teeth to bite through an apple versus pudding. (I do,
however, confess to nearly having to floss a nipple out of my teeth after a few
overzealous nibbles.)
Biting is also an interesting way to toy with the give-and-take
nature of control in a sexual encounter. And, if you’re so inclined, it’s a
unique way to mark your turf by leaving a fading reminder for your lover. More
often than not, it’s a simple, animalistic expression of insatiability.
Sometimes, a kiss is just not enough. But a bite will do.
You can start with the lower lip, where most people have already
experienced some form of impassioned nibbling or pulling. Inner thighs and
underarms usually require a more delicate approach. But a protruding collarbone
or sturdy (yet ticklish) hipbone can allow for some serious gnawing.
Personally, I would avoid any serious exploration of the clitoris, which could
be dulled rather than excited by biting. Most of you can’t find it anyway.
I’m not daring to say that a partner who doesn’t like biting has
no sexual potential. There are those who could have been scarred by an old dog
bite or who might have dated a British man. Exceptions are always allowed.
But I’m continually astounded by the vanilla sexual repertoires
of the average person, or by the blushed admissions of “I’ve never tried that”
at the coyest attempt at sexual exploration. My general bedroom mantra is this:
if you’ve never tried it, how do you know you don’t like it? (Exception: blow
jobs.)
A harmless nibble could lead to an enticing bite, which could
lead to a serious clawing, which could lead to a spontaneous spank. Pretty soon
you might be biting off more than you can chew ... and eating it up.
Jeannie Greeley is a freelance writer who wants to hear your thoughts after you chew on this. She can be reached at jeannieg@comcast.net
