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Sinners and Saints: A Mardi Gras showdown

by Jeannie Greeley | March 10, 2008
DRIVING CROSS-country gives you a lot of time to think. You can put miles between you and any insignificant relationship woes. You can master the state capitals. You can become acquainted with the history of "meat showers" in some of our finer...

On the Couch ... with a horny handicapped* hombre

by Jeannie Greeley | February 25, 2008
I'VE SPENT many a night with a certain pal of mine, scoping women in bars and bitching about relationship woes. But while complaining about my trivial challenges, I sometimes forget how much more difficult it is for him, a disabled man in the dating...

Straight Shot: On exploring the opposite gender

by Jeannie Greeley | February 06, 2008
THE FIRST thing that alarms me is the facial hair, dragging across my chin like an enraged porcupine. Then I feel large, rough hands cupped around my face. Then the musky aroma creeps up and stings my nose. Holy absence of labia minora! I'm with a...

Demented and Sad, but Social: Venturing into the ‘singles’ world

by Jeannie Greeley | January 08, 2008
SIGN HERE. Take a name tag. You're number 41. Now print your number on this envelope. Decorate the envelope with the supplies in the other room. Hang your envelope on the wall over there. Then people can leave you messages. Yay! Have fun! This is...

Post-Coital Paranoia: A little time with my subconscious

by Jeannie Greeley | October 17, 2007
UNTIL RECENTLY, I had been - give or take the random drunken mistake - consistently sleeping with one person for quite some time. We were enjoying all the comforts of familiarity. We knew how to pull off the quick orgasm, the protracted one, the filthy...

Get Real: Venus Envy prepares for Prime Time

by Jeannie Greeley | August 27, 2007
LADIES, LOCK up your girlfriends. Boys, break out the hand cream. The lesbian version of the TV show The Bachelorette is coming - and it promises to be as pathetic and unrealistic as its straight counterparts. "For the first time ever, a major cable...

In the Sack: Hot & Heavy, Hot & Saucy, Irate Euro, and more

by Jeannie Greeley | July 31, 2007
AS EXPECTED, the ladies had a lot to say about a recent column regarding weight issues in relationships (see "Weighty Issues," 6.19.07). People got offended. Boo hoo. And my column got me dumped ... again. Letters have been edited for brevity...

Word Up: A Primer on the Language of Lust

by Jeannie Greeley | July 17, 2007
IT'S A SEX columnist's nightmare to be clueless when a well-worn sex term gets thrown out at a dinner party. When a girl said "road head," I thought it had something to do with helmets. My punishment for being a *** and a cyclist. Embarrassed...

Weighty Issues: Addressing size in a relationship

by Jeannie Greeley | June 19, 2007
IF I WERE to scrawl a letter to an advice columnist right now, it would go something like this: Dear Incompetent Guide, I'm skinny. I say that with neither pride nor shame. It just is. I've got good genes and a speedy metabolism. The reason I'm...

Breaking Up For Dummies: Why do I need a book about calling it quits? Half the fun of a relationship is its demise.

by Jeannie Greeley | June 05, 2007
RECENTLY I was contacted by an author requesting an interview for her upcoming book, The Break-Up Etiquette Bible . Knowing nothing about etiquette or bibles, my original plan was to agree and then spew a bunch of hideous lies, exposing the literary sham...

Striking Out: If you ask me, dating a sports fan is a losing game

by Jeannie Greeley | May 22, 2007
I'VE BEEN kept awake lately by a hiss and roar that I wish were coming from something other than raucous sports fans. But 'tis the season of mayhem when you live within earshot of one of the loudest baseball parks in the country. Not to mention...