ANOTHER YEAR older, another year wiser, another birthday pub crawl? Nah — we’re so tired of the usual bar-hopping birthday fêtes. In brainstorming ideas for Stuff@night’s 10th-birthday celebration, we found ourselves yearning for the days of cupcakes, candy, and themed table settings. That in mind, here are some places to party like a 10-year-old (a city-dwelling 10-year-old with a fake ID and a wad of allowance cash, that is).
sweet talk
No celebration is complete without cupcakes, but more and more schools are banning the treats, saying they’re just too unhealthy for kids. Good thing we’re all grown up! Somerville is the local sweet spot for fans of the dessert: Kickass Cupcakes (378 Highland Avenue, Somerville, 617.628.CUPS) offers modern flavors like Mojito ($2.75) and Caramel Apple Cake ($2.75), but if you’d rather have a more classic cupcake experience, there’s nothing better than Super Chocolate. Another option just a mile away, Petsi Pies (285 Beacon Street, Somerville, 617.661.7437; also 31 Putnam Avenue, Cambridge, 617.499.0801) is famous for Whoopie Pie cupcakes ($2), with chocolate cake and whipped-cream filling. Grab a couple for yourself, and don’t worry about sharing with the class.
get racy
Want to take a trip down memory lane at 45 miles per hour? Anyone who ever tried to hotwire their Power Wheels will love F1 Boston (290 Wood Road, Braintree, 781.848.2300), 20 minutes south of Boston. F1, New England’s only inside track, is modeled on the super-sexy world of European Formula 1 racing. Visitors can drop in, suit up, and head out on either a “city” or “country” course that simulates a wide array of driving conditions. One run of practice and race laps costs $28. After racing, replenish with snacks and cocktails at the track’s on-site restaurant. (Repeat: after.)
dirty little secret
Mud pies were never for eating, so why do kids insist on dabbling in dirt? Well, maybe children’s peachy complexions are a hint that they’re on to something: mud can actually be a purifying agent that stimulates the metabolism as it draws out toxins. Spa Newbury (115 Newbury Street, Boston, 617.262.9464) does the dirty work for you with its Mud Wrapsody treatment ($125), using sterilized mud and peat imported from Europe. Technicians apply the mixture all over your body and wrap you in warm blankets to start the detox process. It’s perfect, they say, for starting a fast. We’d rather take our shiny selves to the club.
late bloomer
Boston lawmakers have stuck us with one of the country’s earliest bedtimes. For the past few years, though, determined partiers have been staying up with strobes instead of flashlights. Behind a nondescript Back Bay doorway, Rise (306 Stuart Street, Boston, 617.423.7473) hosts parties that don’t even start until most people are heading to bed. The welcoming scene, which includes international DJs spinning on two floors, might be a result of the members-only policy, a means of getting around the closing-time restrictions. You won’t get in if you just show up, but we know a bad babysitter who’ll help you stay out late. To get on the guest list, e-mail promoter Tina Snell at club.xtina@gmail.com.
juiced-up drinks
Whole Foods doesn’t stock Capri Sun or Hawaiian Punch, but we haven’t missed them; those syrupy concoctions are too much for our refined adult palate. Instead, Match (94 Mass Ave, Boston, 617.247.9922) offers drinks with the right mix of sweet nostalgia and grown-up naughtiness in a sleek and sexy environment. Mom told us not to swallow our gum, but vodka, peach schnapps, lemon juice, and Champagne go down smooth in the Bubbletini ($11). The Pop Culture martini ($11) features strawberry vodka, Bacardi Coco, and cranberry and pineapple juice, all rimmed with pop rocks. They won’t make your stomach explode, despite what you may have heard from the big kids.
peanut, peanut butter — and jelly!
Who says you have to leave behind your PB&J sandwiches when you graduate from elementary school? The Sunset Grill and Tap (130 Brighton Avenue, Allston, 617.254.1331) serves one that’s no smushed white-bread mess: they accent their fresh-ground peanut butter with honey, before spreading it with strawberry preserves on a Texas toast ($3.99). Marshmallow fluff, banana, and cream cheese are add-in options. Now if only they’d cut off the crust.
the games people play
Double Dare, Guts, Wild ’n’ Crazy Kids: the tragedy of our childhood was that we were never chosen to appear on a Nickelodeon game show. But we’ve finally found a way to live out our earliest fantasies of TV stardom. Tomb (186 Brookline Avenue, Boston, 617.375.9487) is a real-life Legends of the Hidden Temple, tucked right behind Fenway Park. The Egyptian-themed puzzles, obstacle-course challenges, and goofy fake smoke throughout the 45-minute experience are the closest we’ll ever get to Olmec.
grown-up gluttony
One of the best parts of growing up: “big eaters” become “connoisseurs,” and “pig-out sessions” become “tastings.” Our favorite Boston spot for socially accepted adult bingeing is the Chocolate Bar ($35) at Café Fleuri (Langham Hotel, 250 Franklin Street, Boston, 617.956.8751). On Saturdays from noon to 3 p.m., there’s a Wonka-worthy spread of more than 125 chocolate desserts. Leave the candy to the kids while you sample crêpes, fresh-baked cookies, truffles, tarts, and the products of a “donut machine.”
get down from there!
With more than 17,000 square feet of rock surfaces stretching as high as 45 feet, Metro Rock Boston (69 Norman Street, Everett, 617.387.7625) is the kind of place your mother warned you about. Monkey types of all ages are encouraged to scale the walls, and the floors are thickly padded for those who haven’t done that kind of thing for a while. Call before you hop on the Orange Line and they’ll pick you up at the Wellington stop. Just like mom used to. @
[Photos by Joel Veak]
