Yes, we realize you can down 12 tequila shots without puking, score any phone number you desire, and burp the alphabet backward. But how ’bout a little self-improvement once in a while? Keep reading for tips on how to be a better man in Boston (though we certainly won’t frown on the occasional selfish splurge or six-cocktail evening).
1. Learn something. Yes, your comprehensive knowledge of Seinfeld plot lines and baseball stats count for
something, but your material is getting a smidge tired. We’re not suggesting you load up on organic chemistry or advanced calculus classes after a long day at the office. Instead, immerse yourself in a subject you’ve long been interested in learning more about. Always felt you were a budding Picasso? The Museum of Fine Arts (465 Huntington Avenue, Boston,
617.267.9300) offers art classes for guys like you — and yes, there are options for a variety of skill levels. If you’re the wordy type, try a one-night seminar or a weekend workshop at Grub Street (160 Boylston Street, Boston, 617.695.0075). Topics range from “Surviving the Slush Pile” (June 28 and 29) to “Writing Sex Scenes” (June 7). And for a more formal education, there’s always the namedropworthy Harvard Extension School (51 Brattle Street, Cambridge, 617.495.4024).
2. Volunteer. There are so many opportunities to do good in this city — purchasing admission to some big-ticket charity gala, giving an hour a week through a Big Brother or Big Sister mentoring program, spearheading a campaign aimed at effecting positive change — that it’s difficult for us to single out one worthy group. It’s up to you to figure out what kind of time you’re willing to give (and yes, no matter how crazy your work schedule, you’ve got at least a few hours to spare each month). Then decide what kinds of skills you can bring to the table and how your personal interests and hobbies might translate into doing some good for someone else. Say you turned your English major into a lucrative finance job but you miss dreaming up quirky characters and intricate plot lines. Why not join up with 826 Boston (www.826boston.org), whose mission is to get young students writing? Totally nostalgic for your days as a highschool lacrosse star? Look into MetroLacrosse (www.metrolacrosse.com), which provides innercity youth with opportunities to play the game. If you’re feeling totally overwhelmed and aimless, try connecting with a broader organization like Boston Cares (www.bostoncares. com), which organizes hundreds of different volunteer opportunities each month.
3. Get yourself a good pair of shoes. Hint: girls can tell when your shoes cost under $30 a pair (and even the girls who love a good bargain won’t respect you for wearing them). Think leather, preferably from somewhere in Italy. Looking for some professional guidance? March yourself into the men’s shoe department at Saks Fifth Avenue (800 Boylston Street, Boston, 617.262.8500) and ask for Christopher Harrison. He knows exactly what he’s talking about when it comes to men’s fashion, and if you’re a pricyshoe novice, he won’t lead you astray. You might also peruse Harvard Square’s The Tannery (11A Brattle Street, Cambridge, 617.491.0810).
4. Take your mother to lunch. When it comes to appeasing Mom, a little effort goes a long way. Call her up (yes, use the phone) and invite her to lunch some Saturday afternoon. Wear something nice, don’t you dare arrive hung over, and put some thought into where you take her. We suggest peoplewatching from the patio at Stephanie’s (190 Newbury Street, Boston, 617.236.0990), taking in the fizzy pink-and-green décor of the Monday Club Bar at UpStairs on the Square (91 Winthrop Street, Cambridge, 617.864.1933), or tucking into something lovely and French at Petit Robert Bistro (468 Comm Ave, Boston, 617.375.0699; 480 Columbus Avenue, Boston, 617.867.0600). Be sure she orders dessert, and bonus points if you allow her to grill you about your job/finances/ relationship status/eating habits.
5. Remember your pleases and thank yous. Go that extra mile to express your gratitude and people will notice. Your mother will be proud. You’ll start to be known as that really nice guy who always says “thanks.” And knock it off with the f-bombs while you’re at it. This isn’t a pub.
6. Take a break from the weight room. We understand that assuming the Downward Facing Dog pose doesn’t go over well with a lot of men, but for your sanity’s sake, give yoga a shot and prove all the towel-snapping meatheads you usually work out with wrong. Two newish spots where we’d recommend getting your “om” on: North End Yoga (256 Hanover Street, Boston, 617.227.YOGA), a tranquil space you’d never expect in the middle of the city’s carboloading district, and South Boston Yoga (141 Dorchester Avenue, Boston, 617.292.0040), which incorporates green elements (it’s located in the übereco Macallen Building) into its practice. We promise you’ll emerge all calm and refreshed, no matter what your skill level. And worstcase scenario, you just spent an hour in a room full of athletic girls in spandex.
7. Clean up your act. A quick shower, a scratchy shave, and a few swipes of deodorant and you’re out the door. But now that you’re no longer sloshing around in puddles and rooting around in the dirt (on a daily basis, anyway), we think it’s time you step your grooming rituals up a notch. Get the grit out from under your nails with the Sports Manicure ($30) and Sports Pedicure ($65) in the Men’s Club at Emerge (275 Newbury Street, Boston, 617.437.0006). If you’re feeling a bit more daring, give the 60-minute Gentleman’s Facial ($80) at Spa Christine (699 East Broadway, South Boston, 617.269.0019) a go. If you’re not up for the challenge, at least spring for the indulgent Hot Lather Shave ($34) at State Street Barbers (1313 Washington Street, Boston, 617.753.9990), where the professionals surely do it far better than you do. For more tips (nothing scary, we promise), see this issue’s dedicated-to-the-boys Primp column.
8. Surprise her with flowers. And not because you screwed up and forgot some anniversary, like last time. Send them to her office just because. Jealous coworkers translate to a very happy girlfriend. And come the next social eventwith her colleagues, you’re a total hero. Keep Winston Flowers (various locations, 800.457.4901) on speed dial.
9. Learn your way around a nice bottle of wine. Nose-in-the-air wine snobs are a total turn-off, but a guy who knows a little something about wine — or at least expresses an interest and asks the right questions — is markedly more interesting than your average shotslugging dude. A formal education isn’t necessary, though the Boston Wine School (1354 Comm Ave, Boston, 617.784.7150) and the Boston Center for Adult Education (5 Comm Ave, Boston, 617.267.4430) hold unique classes that are as much extracurricular enjoyment as they are higher learning. You can also turn your schooling into an out-of-the-box date night with a wine tasting, like the “Wine Wednesday” dinners held at Sel de la Terre (255 State Street, Boston, 617.720.1300) every week. Or, even more informally, score a quick lesson as you’re grabbing a bottle to bring home for dinner: BRIX Wine Shop (1284 Washington Street, Boston, 617.542 BRIX ext. 1; 105 Broad Street, Boston, 617.542.BRIX ext. 2) is known for its knowledgeable staff, and the North End’s Wine Bottega (341 Hanover Street, Boston, 617.227.6607) is a good go-to when you’re looking to learn a little something about what you’re drinking.
10. Upgrade your frathouse-chic décor. Face it: those tackedup band posters and scratchy, stained sheets aren’t sending the right message to the ladies who visit your humble abode (though if you’re hoping to avoid a second date, maybe you’re on to something). There’s no need to pair floral prints and frilly doilies with your bigscreen TV and Pats memorabilia, but swing by West Elm (160 Brookline Avenue, Boston, 617.450.9500) for some basics. They’re known for classic shapes with an interesting twist, and their frillfree, quasiminimalist style is perfect for men. The arty Design Within Reach (519 Tremont Street, Boston, 617.451.7801; 1030 Mass Ave, Cambridge, 617.576.3690) and sophisticated Mitchell Gold + Bob Williams (142 Berkeley Street, Boston, 617.266.0075) are resources for larger pieces, and Vessel (125 Kingston Street, Boston, 617.292.0982) stocks accessories infused with quirky style. South End standby Lekker (1317 Washington Street, Boston, 617.542.6464) is the place to score place settings and other kitchen accessories, while men looking to add an ecoelement to their place should buzz over to Greenward (1776 Mass Ave, Cambridge, 617.395.1338). And remember: it’s all in the details. Go see Doug Palardy at Motley (623 Tremont Street, Boston, 617.247.6969); along with apparel, his store is stocked with all sorts of cool, guyfriendly knickknacks. And yes, we’ll even allow you a maximum of three IKEA (1 IKEA Way, Stoughton, 781.344.IKEA) purchases, okay? Choose wisely.
